Hi. I’m Emily — cyclebreaking mother, modern wife, and emotional healing advocate. I’m also an able-bodied, educated, white woman from New England, and I possess a fuck ton of privilege as a result. I’m actively learning about how to become an accomplice in anti-racism, and have been humbled to learn about and confront the damage my whiteness has caused and continues to cause. I view emotional healing work through a lens of collective healing; I believe that if we do the work to heal ourselves internally and in our relationships through communication, boundaries, and aligned living, that we can then effect real social change — the kind that tells the truth even when it’s hard, and supports, protects, and values all people.
For the last decade, I’ve been highly-focused on disrupting unhealthy patterns in myself and my relationships that were born from inherited relational trauma and social/cultural blind spots. My need to establish new norms that reflect emotional health, clear boundaries, and a consistent pursuit of living in alignment — a.k.a. actively living my values — has made this hard work both essential and ultimately deeply worthwhile.
My number one most important role is that of mother. The birth of my children brought intense love and the equally intense activation of long-hidden emotional wounds. It was clear I had two choices: repeat old, unhealthy patterns or become entirely new. I chose to work to become new.
This is the work I now bring to you.
I am 3/4 of the way through graduate coursework that will result in me being a licensed mental health counselor (LHMC). I am pursuing this degree as a way to formalize and buoy the education I’ve received from my lived experience; I will not become a counselor because of the letters I’ll soon have, yet the letters I’ll soon have will legitimize much of the knowledge inherent to who I am in the eyes of the support-seeking public. I’m okay with this somewhat contradictory expression of educational value; questioning the structural systems we blindly place value in — education systems, justice systems, etc. — is now a natural part of what it means for me to live an aligned life, and I do not shy away from dynamic conversations that openly question what’s typically face-value accepted as right and/or important.
THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THERAPY AND
THE SUPPORTIVE WORK WE’RE DOING HERE
I need to be clear: the work I’m currently offering is not therapy and I am not (yet) a therapist. While I will continue offering this work in the future once I am a licensed psychotherapist, there is an important distinction to make between therapy and the supportive work we’ll be doing together.
I believe therapy exists to help folx dive deep into their past — into the roots of their behaviors and patterns. As someone who takes a Relational, Person-Centered approach to traditional talk-therapy, I believe good therapy always takes the whole person into account, and also looks at the relationships an individual’s life has been built around. It is through these relationships — specifically the relationships in early childhood — that we can learn the most about who and why am person is who they are today. So therapy, the way I orient to it, is deep past-centered work.
Conversely, our work here is present and future-based work. While we don’t ignore the reality of your past, that’s not what we focus on here. Instead, we’re more focused on values clarification, behavior change and skills-building. We deals firmly with what’s current and real — and yet it’s about forward motion. It’s about enduring change.
AREAS OF EXPERTISE
I specialize in three categories of supportive work — Communication Skills, Family-of-Origin Boundaries, and Alignment Support. I have extensive personal and learned experience all three of these areas, and am confident in my ability to help you navigate your way into a new, more present, and more clear relationship with yourself and the world around you.
WHY THIS WORK MATTERS
I believe a deep level of healing, accountability, and aligned living by all people is what’s needed to heal intergenerational relational trauma, which will, in turn, support collective global healing.
This really is that important.
This work is for everyone, so we can end cycles of toxic communication within our families — with our children and with our partners. It’s so we can be leaders-by-example in private conversations about feminism, reminding ourselves and our people that feminism that isn’t anti-racist isn’t really feminism at all. It’s so we can be the ones to call out the racist school play and ask school leaders to make changes and do better. It’s so we can be the ones at our bank jobs, grocery store jobs, machinist jobs, office jobs, restaurant jobs, cleaning jobs, construction jobs — at all the real-life jobs the capitalist system we currently operate within needs to function — who will speak up when we see injustice. It’s really that simple — and that challenging.
We’re not doing this because it makes us look better on Instagram — we’re doing this because we recognize that everyday action is what’s necessary, and that everyday action requires a deep level of healing, clarity, and ongoing support.