A Life Update With Photos & Exclamation Points

HI, HONEYS!

How in the everloving world are you?  Holy sheeshwhoa has it been a long time.  I'm not sure why I'm not writing.  I don't want to psychoanalyze it, but I will say I MISS YOU and I MISS US and I WANT US BACK LIKE WE WERE.  Except not just like that, because that involved Facebook and Facebook is ick.  Or maybe it's my anxiety around Facebook that's ick.  Something was ick.  I'm working on it.

Anyway, I'm still getting married to Instagram, so have been playing over there.  Here's a snapshot (hee hee) of the past little bit. 

I can't stop smiling - this meme GET'S ME. ::: Let's keep being confused about life together, 'kay? ::: image via @scottstabile

I can't stop smiling - this meme GET'S ME. ::: Let's keep being confused about life together, 'kay? ::: image via @scottstabile

NO CHILL when it comes to an unexpected lunch date. NONE. (Locals: The Gypsy Apple in SF is only open for lunch for now, and it's TIGHT. I'm so spoiled by the Hope and @fiveeyedfox that most places disappoint. This meal did NOT. Steak frites for me, salmon for Tim, espresso over ice, mocha mousse with cream. Fuuuuuck. RUN.)

NO CHILL when it comes to an unexpected lunch date. NONE. (Locals: The Gypsy Apple in SF is only open for lunch for now, and it's TIGHT. I'm so spoiled by the Hope and @fiveeyedfox that most places disappoint. This meal did NOT. Steak frites for me, salmon for Tim, espresso over ice, mocha mousse with cream. Fuuuuuck. RUN.)

Feeling super hyper disillusioned about the 9-5 grind after a day spent in a chair looking at a screen plugging numbers into Excel. Feeling the ick feelings of envy and resentment when I look at all of the women who are making tons of money as branding and life coaches. I wanted that, but couldn't make it feel right. And now I feel like the only responsible option is to do something uninspired, something grown-up, something "most people just need to do". It's actually making me sad today. This isn't natural or enlivening, this world of Outlook and desk work. I said yes to the Universe when I took the job that was coming at me; I know there's invaluable information in here. I know there's something for me to learn about myself. But it's scary, thinking about months and years full of Excel sheets and meetings and approval processes and not enough time with my kids. I'm scared I'm missing my life and am accidentally playing it safe. Trusting is hard sometimes.

Feeling super hyper disillusioned about the 9-5 grind after a day spent in a chair looking at a screen plugging numbers into Excel. Feeling the ick feelings of envy and resentment when I look at all of the women who are making tons of money as branding and life coaches. I wanted that, but couldn't make it feel right. And now I feel like the only responsible option is to do something uninspired, something grown-up, something "most people just need to do". It's actually making me sad today. This isn't natural or enlivening, this world of Outlook and desk work. I said yes to the Universe when I took the job that was coming at me; I know there's invaluable information in here. I know there's something for me to learn about myself. But it's scary, thinking about months and years full of Excel sheets and meetings and approval processes and not enough time with my kids. I'm scared I'm missing my life and am accidentally playing it safe. Trusting is hard sometimes.

I was going to write some bullshit caption about the different shades of green grass - how just because someone else's grass is greener than yours, that doesn't mean yours isn't green. And why has brown grass gotten such a bad rap? Why are we telling ourselves stories about one color being better than another, anyway? - you know, some brutal, quasi-philosophical thing like that. Instead, let's try this: if you like the color of your grass, jump the fuck up and down and shout about that shit - because, YAY! If you don't? Maybe plan some time today to feel whatever shitty feelings you need to feel about the state or the color of your grass. You don't need to pretend it's a different color, okay? For serious. ::: I basically ruined what could've been a fun evening with my kids last night because I got swept up into the martyr mother story; I don't need to tell you how that story goes. I got dressed for work this morning knowing I needed an all-day reminder to have fun, play a little bit, maybe chill the fuck out for a sec. So here's me, standing on my some-shade-of-green grass, dressing my way into the kind of day I want to have. Hope it's a real one, lovebugs. xo.

I was going to write some bullshit caption about the different shades of green grass - how just because someone else's grass is greener than yours, that doesn't mean yours isn't green. And why has brown grass gotten such a bad rap? Why are we telling ourselves stories about one color being better than another, anyway? - you know, some brutal, quasi-philosophical thing like that. Instead, let's try this: if you like the color of your grass, jump the fuck up and down and shout about that shit - because, YAY! If you don't? Maybe plan some time today to feel whatever shitty feelings you need to feel about the state or the color of your grass. You don't need to pretend it's a different color, okay? For serious. ::: I basically ruined what could've been a fun evening with my kids last night because I got swept up into the martyr mother story; I don't need to tell you how that story goes. I got dressed for work this morning knowing I needed an all-day reminder to have fun, play a little bit, maybe chill the fuck out for a sec. So here's me, standing on my some-shade-of-green grass, dressing my way into the kind of day I want to have. Hope it's a real one, lovebugs. xo.

Throwback to that time in the mid to late 80s when you were way ahead of the fashion curve.  Also of note: 1). How cute is my sister? Oh my God I can't - so cute. 2). Huge shout out to Mickey in the background, one of the best dogs to ever roam a front yard. He was my dad's soulmate-pup, and when my parents got divorced he left him with us, for us. It makes my heart crack a little bit to think about how hard that must've been. ::: This picture was taken right around the time of said divorce. Everything was changing or about to change. My heart breaks for the girls I see here, girls who really have no idea how hard things are about to get; there's still some youthful innocence in those smiles. ::: I'd like to mother these girls for a moment - *Dear Girls, Things are going to get hard for awhile. I know you probably don't want to hear that, but it's true. And I think you're smart enough to understand the truth. Actually, it's what you deserve. After the hard stuff, things are going to be confusing. But you're going to find your way; you're going to be amazing. Trust yourselves. Lean on each other. Share yourselves completely while protecting the perimeters of your hearts. Take deep breaths. Slow things down sometimes. And remember that sometimes the greatest impacts are made in the smallest moments. That last part? Make it your mantra. Love you, love you, love you.* ::: And I love you, too. xo, *E

Throwback to that time in the mid to late 80s when you were way ahead of the fashion curve.  Also of note: 1). How cute is my sister? Oh my God I can't - so cute. 2). Huge shout out to Mickey in the background, one of the best dogs to ever roam a front yard. He was my dad's soulmate-pup, and when my parents got divorced he left him with us, for us. It makes my heart crack a little bit to think about how hard that must've been. ::: This picture was taken right around the time of said divorce. Everything was changing or about to change. My heart breaks for the girls I see here, girls who really have no idea how hard things are about to get; there's still some youthful innocence in those smiles. ::: I'd like to mother these girls for a moment - *Dear Girls, Things are going to get hard for awhile. I know you probably don't want to hear that, but it's true. And I think you're smart enough to understand the truth. Actually, it's what you deserve. After the hard stuff, things are going to be confusing. But you're going to find your way; you're going to be amazing. Trust yourselves. Lean on each other. Share yourselves completely while protecting the perimeters of your hearts. Take deep breaths. Slow things down sometimes. And remember that sometimes the greatest impacts are made in the smallest moments. That last part? Make it your mantra. Love you, love you, love you.* ::: And I love you, too. xo, *E

You guys you guys YOU GUYS. Writing is happening! WRITING! Like, in the way it used to happen, when words would just pop out of my fingers without me needing to think too hard about it. Real writing! This is THRILLING ME! Note: for all of you who find my big, vigorous enthusiasm a bit much, please know that I seriously considered using many more CAPS and exclamation points here BUT RESISTED. And I know "you guys" is passé, but I still love it so there. Writing!!!

You guys you guys YOU GUYS. Writing is happening! WRITING! Like, in the way it used to happen, when words would just pop out of my fingers without me needing to think too hard about it. Real writing! This is THRILLING ME! Note: for all of you who find my big, vigorous enthusiasm a bit much, please know that I seriously considered using many more CAPS and exclamation points here BUT RESISTED. And I know "you guys" is passé, but I still love it so there. Writing!!!

Writing is still happening!  AND IT'S STILL EXCITING!!!

Hoping your summer is delicious like chocolate.  (If it's not, go eat some chocolate.)

Loving you like stars love being far away (You know, like, a lot.),
*E