Last night, upon realizing that my throat was sore, I thought, "Oh, no. What if I have cancer? What if I DIE?"
This is a common concern for me, dying. What with two small children and a husband and all.
But then, a miracle occurred. This came next: "Well, if I'm dying, I wouldn't do anything differently than I am right now."
This blew my heart open.
It made me teary and chills-y and peace-filled.
I told Tim. He got all those things, too.
The thing that rocked me most was the awareness that my life is perfect - perfect - exactly as it is. In it's messy regular-ness. In the relationships to work on, defense mechanisms to unwind, more love to offer, less impatience to exhibit.
But also in the desire to do the work of making things better, a little bit each day.
And while desire doesn't lead to immediate success, it's certainly the place to start.
Funny what a little pollen can do.