On my drive to work this morning, I started thinking about my life, really focusing in on the details. "Get real with yourself, Emily. Be honest."
So let's do it. Here's a small glimpse into my reality:
- I live in a town I love. The people I've met since moving there seven years ago are my people. They love me. They laugh at me when I'm funny and they imitate my ridiculous excitement with love in their eyes and smiles on their faces. The restaurants in my town are the best restaurants. The coffee in my town is the best coffee. I walk around Greenfield and almost cry sometimes because: home. I found home and I get to live there.
- I'm married to a dude who gives a damn. My guy cares a whole lot about being the kind of man we need - emotionally aware, honest, funny, hardworking, and even-keeled. He's a straight-shooter; he calls me out when I need it and forces me to ease up on myself when I need that instead. My husband and I have decided to choose each other again and again. The story of us is the story of chosen devotion. Also, he's an undisputed babe, which is, you know, pretty cool.
- My children are miracles. I got pregnant when I wanted to, had two easy and healthy pregnancies, and delivered my children at home in exactly the way I'd dreamed about. They can run, they can talk, and they love me in a way that makes my stomach hurt it's so much. My babies are alive and I get to hug them and kiss them and love them and they do that back to me. It's almost more than I can handle sometimes, the miracle of them.
- I got my perfect parents. There is no one else on earth who could have loved me just the way my parents do and did. I am who I am because of them, not in spite of them. The day I realized that all of the challenges we've faced have actually been generous gifts because of what they've taught me? Well, that was a game-changing day. Instead of spending any more time wishing my parents were different in some way, I've realized that I picked them just like my kids picked me, and for the same reasons: because they're exactly who I needed to become who I am. (And psst: that's why you got the parents you got, too.)
This isn't me being a braggart. It's not me ignoring the challenges I face or the hard feelings I sometimes feel. This is me opening my eyes to the incredible reality in which I live. It's me breathing it in, taking a swim right inside of it.
"Real talk" isn't just the hard stuff, lovebugs. It's also the miracles, the gratitude, the holy shit, I don't know what I did to deserve this, but thank you.
Life is happening for us, not to us.*
And boy: things look different through that lens.
*I'm watching I Am Not Your Guru again, and I paused it to go to sleep last night just after Tony Robbins said that; I haven't heard it said any better.