When I post something here, and then announce it over on Facebook, it's gratifying to see people respond; watching the little red alert bubble grow is exciting in a way that's started to make me uncomfortable.
Or, as Glennon put it, "The internet, I think – is turning into a compulsion for me. I’m starting to look to it for my own worth. I’m looking to it for comfort and as a balm for loneliness. I’m using it to hide a little from real live people. And I’m using it to numb my feelings. To zone out. All of this scares me because these are all the things I used to use booze for. "
Again, oh, shit.
Stressed over money? Head to the computer. Had a rough mama-ing morning? Hide in the pantry (sound familiar?) with technology.
I'm missing too much. I'm investing in the wrong things.
And so it's break time.
I'll still be available via e-mail (emilyrverrillballard at gmail dot com). For me, e-mail takes time and thought and isn't the kind of junk food I'm concerned with right now. But the thinking-in-Facebook-posts and soul-filling I've been trying to achieve through social media is just silly. I'll see you there again when things feel different.
I'll also probably post here, in the same random pattern I've already established. It cleanses my insides to write this way. I just won't be announcing new posts anywhere, so you'll need to check back whenever you feel the pull, to see if there's new words from me to you.
Happy end of summer, loves.
I'm going to head out into it.