1). I'm quickly learning that I can't get shit done - business shit, thinking shit, happiness shit - if my space is cluttered. For a good long while now I've been meticulous about my studio and almost equally meticulous (see: OCD) about my downstairs rooms. But upstairs? I kind of hyperventilate when I go up there. Because the laundry. Oh dear god the laundry. I know I'm not alone here, but honestly - how the hell can I expect my mind to be clear when it truly looks like a hurricane came through and decided to focus its destruction solely on the things we wear? It's ridiculous. Lack of space-harmony anywhere in my house is making me feel crazy. It's gotta stop (as soon as I stop writing this post).
2). I've been out of school for more than a decade now, but my brain still operates on a school calendar. Summer is this weird, black hole of time for me. I know I should be relaxing and lazing about, but unstructured relaxation and lazing stresses me out. Also slightly stressful? My kids walking down the stairs every morning (or, more accurately, attacking me like loving, wild animals when I walk down the stairs many, many minutes after them) asking what we're going to do today. Every day. All summer. I don't know!? What should we do? I'd like to go work in my studio for a few hours while you guys make creative hanging mobiles out of artful-looking paper. I'll come out and make us a picnic lunch that we'll share together while we laugh about things that aren't poop-related; you know, we'll talk. And then maybe we'll read a few books, and then I'll pop a This American Life on while you build elaborate Lego structures and I start a healthy dinner.
No, but seriously. What do you guys do all summer? Especially you write-from-home/work-from-home mothers? I have one day of childcare per week, and I cram all of my Dig Sessions into that one day. I think I really just need to surrender to the reality that they start school in a month and it's okay if shit stays on The Big Important To-Do List until then. Because then? Oh, sweet glorious then? I'LL HAVE FIVE DAYS A WEEK TO MYSELF. FIVE DAYS A WEEK. FROM 9:00-3:00. OH MY GOD I CAN'T EVEN. I'm sure I'll spend the first week of school drinking too much coffee and crying a little bit about how I didn't spend enough time doing fun things with them and that I really shouldn't have let them watch so much TV and, "Did they make good memories?" I'm sure I'll do that.
But also? Imma kick shit into high gear around here. Because here's what's up: my husband and I have an agreement that one year from this September - September 2015 - we're both going to be bringing in half of our household's income. This will allow him to pursue some of the (truly brilliant) creative pursuits that have been back-burnered for years, and will allow me to finally devote the time I need to writing, coaching, and generally trying to connect women - through our we're-all-exactly-the-same stories - to each other. Because that's my motherfuckin' jam.
So hell yes to that.
Bring on the Autumn, yo.
3). And lastly:
The Things That Need To Happen Even Though It's Summer And Lots Of Things Can Wait
- Drink more water. Lots of it. I wanna be peeing clear all day long. My head's all foggy with summer heat (even though this has been an admittedly mild summer) and water helps clear my brain out. Also, headaches - there are less of them when there's more water. Drink it.
- Officially breaking the workout wall DOWN. Okay, so I've been posting these short little videos of myself on Facebook mid-workout. I've only done it two days in a row now, but whatevs - that counts as "I've been". While it's not glamourous to show people how you look when you're sweating and panting like a dog laying in the sun, there's something strangely gratifying and very human about it. I dig it. So I'm going to keep doing it. At the very least, it'll hold me accountable. At the most, it'll help someone else stick to their workout plan, too. Win, win, see?
- House maintenance. See: laundry. As I said up there in the first numbered list, the laundry situation is making me manic. Also? When Tim was away for three weeks in May I was ON IT. I was caught up the whole time, the entire house was tip top, and I wasn't even a bitch about it. So I know it can be done. Get on it, Ballard.
- Meditate. For one minute a day. I'm starting with one minute because OH MY GOODNESS meditating. But Truth (that's my latest word for God) keeps putting meditation all up in my face and I can't keep ignoring it because you don't do that when you're presented with divine lessons. So one minute a day until one minute starts to be a cinch.
- Laugh. This is the last thing and probably the most important one. Things just feel more fun when I go for "just laugh at this" instead of "*deep sigh*, GOD". Because, obviously. Also? My kids aren't going to talk about poop or Frozen forever, and someday soon, instead of saying, "Fuckin' shit!" and looking to see how I react they're going to being using those words for real, probably under their breath, while I say, "What did you just say?" So for now? I'll just laugh.