When Shit Gets Loud, You Gotta Get Still.

I have to tell you.

This is all looking very different than I thought it would.

Two years ago, I signed up for an online business school run by a powerhouse woman in NYC.  I knew I had a fire in my belly, something I needed to share with the world, and I was going to leverage this program into a self-made business that both fulfilled me and made me a serious earner for my family.

Flash forward to right this minute: my business exists and has garnered gorgeous clients and earned me enough to keep it going.  I often feel purposeful.  And I also know that I haven't "gotten there", to the fullest, most shining, golden, THIS IS THE THING manifestation of that fire in my belly.  Right now, as they are, The Dig Sessions lack clarity-of-purpose.  They're incredibly well-intentioned, and yet there is more for me.  I know this.  

I've been wanting to hear, "Here's the plan," followed by a color-coded, actionable list of items designed to seamlessly bring me straight into the manifested center of the business of my dreams.

That is what I've been wanting.

And then last week I went to a retreat up in the hills of upstate New York.  I learned how to listen to my soul's voice there through meditation.  And at first, I was annoyed and surprised by what I heard.

Because my soul wasn't giving me the angle or the catchphrase.  I wasn't hearing my title or visualizing a diagram of the Everyday-Transcendence-centered product I want to offer. 

Instead, my soul said, "Get still," and I said something like, "What the fuck did you just say?"  And again, clear and quiet and humming with sincerity my golden middle replied, "Get still."

I knew exactly what this meant; getting still is what I've needed to do for months now and is also the exact thing I've been neglecting to do because I have a business to recreate!  Yoga and meditation have felt like extras, things to add to the If I Have Time list.  Instead, I'm now quite certain that putting those two things at the top of my This Shit Is Non-Negotiable list is going to be the very act of surrender that provides all of the business clarity I've been stalking and hunting for so long.

When I first heard clearly - and believed with unwavering certainty - that getting still and going further in was the only thing I needed to focus on right now, I'll admit that I was scared.  I was even a little bit pissed.  It just didn't seem prudent to take my foot off the gas; striving for success and relatability and clarity has been in the front of my mind for so long.  I couldn't really imagine what it would look like to just quiet down for awhile.  

But a primary takeaway from my time in the hills was the integration (finally!) of something I already know: the only place I need to look for every answer I will ever need is right inside my belly.  I need only to ask my soul the questions and then dutifully heed the answers.  Every single thing that's supposed to come next, will.

That's just the way it works.

And so when school starts in a week and a half, instead of over-caffeinating and spinning in circles and false-starting and half-believing and listing and color-coding and just not being sure if this is the right way to go right now, I'm going to get still.  I'm going to get good and intimate with the voice of my soul, know its tones of voice, and learn as much as I can.  I might even take a few (color-coded) notes.  

And when I'm ready to know what's next - what precise and measured step to take - I will know.

With lit-up Love,
*E