Q. What do you mean by ‘feral’ heart? Is it bad? It sounds bad....or not good. I hear a lot about open hearts, which seems very much like a thing lots of people want...feral, less so. So, what’s the deal?
A. We don’t think it’s bad, but we also feel like we have feral hearts, so this is a fairly biased response. If you’re reading this, you probably have one, too.
Our hearts can be reserved, raw, and slow to warm up. This might just be your temperament, but for us, it’s the influence of past pain in relationship with other people. It makes us skittish. Maybe you, too? A feral heart wants to give and receive love, yet might struggle and feel unsure, overwhelmed and tentative. A feral heart might have cringed at the mention of giving and receiving love...
Q. So, what...you want to change it? Fix it? That’s what you do with feral things, right? You tame them….is that your angle?
A. If that’s what you want, that’s what we want. Not all feral things need or want to be tamed. Most simply benefit from a safe space to be exactly as they are; things have a way of working themselves out. We’re not actually at all interested in outcomes, but we are VERY interested in making sure a feral heart has a place where its seen, acknowledged, valued and understood. That’s our angle.
Q. That doesn’t sounds super productive. Shouldn’t I be working to get one of the open hearts people speak so highly of?
A. We don’t place value judgments on the way you are in the world -- we think that’s part of what can make people feel all twisted up, the idea that they should be a certain way. We want to work with who you already are to appreciate all of the unique quirks you bring to the proverbial table -- they’re meaningful and give you important information. If these traits disturb you, we want to work with you to understand them completely, and then transform them.
So, to circle back to the first part -- we think that’s really productive. If you think it sounds like a waste of time, our work is probably (definitely) for you. You might want to resist and do so forever. You might dismiss this, generate some story about us, and leave from here or continue to hate-follow our work. These are all reasonable responses/options. Only you know which direction is best for you.
Q. So...you want to sit around and talk about my secret pain all day?
A. Sure, if that’s what YOU want and it’s what you think will help. We really do think it could...we’ve experienced that in our own lives and together in our relationship as friends and business partners. We want to make it okay to talk about things you feel are decidedly NOT okay to talk about. We think putting those things out in the open -- having another person or group of people hear/witness/accept some of the shamiest thoughts/responses/actions in you -- will begin the process of healing. The more people involved in this shift toward shame ownership and acceptance, the more we normalize a range of responses to the world, feral or otherwise.