We've heard it again and again:
"We could do a whole weekend just on mothers and mothering."
A Note From Emily:
Becoming a mother changed me.
I mean, obviously, right?
I haven't slept properly in seven years, I have stretch marks, and I can't begin to count the number of snacks I've been asked to fetch.
Those are the standard things.
But what about the things no one talks about?
What about sitting up at night, worrying that maybe your kid picked the wrong parent to be born to because I don't know how to do this?
Or losing your mind over and over again because no one listens to me ever and I have no idea how to run this family if no one listens?
I've worried about bark-y coughs and more than anything, I've worried that the very fact that I'm my kid's mom is going to be the thing that ruins them for life, that makes them hate me when they grow up, that makes them dread answering the phone when I call.
But this stuff? The stuff that no one talks about?
We need to talk about it.
That's what Super Soul Glitter: Conscious Mothering is all about.
It's about thwarting the notion of, "everybody screws their kids up, that's what therapy is for," and instead deciding that while we surely make mistakes in our role as mother, taking ownership of the ways in which we can become more conscious for our children is our job as aware, evolving women. It's about forgiving ourselves for our mistakes, while simultaneously bringing fresh eyes to who and how we want to be.
And it's about reflecting - heavily - on our relationships with our own mothers, about how those relationships have, until now, defined us. Some of us have supportive, gentle, nurturing mothers - our relationships with them have given us most of what we've needed to truly thrive - confidently and consistently - in our lives. And some of us have strained, troubled relationships with our mothers. We struggle to find acceptance and to feel loved in the way we think we should be loved.
Most of us are somewhere in between.
Navigating our way into our own turn at motherhood brings up so many old, well-hidden feelings. It's not about blaming. It's not about pointing fingers.
It's about investigation and understanding. It's about studying the why of how we are as women so we can get to the how we want to be as mothers; when we get right for us, we step into the chance to be the mothers we want our children to have.
I started a blog a a long time ago, and quickly fell into the self-imposed trap of writing superficially - and certainly poorly - because I was striving to come across as someone who knew things.
But for two years now, all I've really wanted to do was talk to women about the truth.
Once things got bad enough inside my head - and once I made the decision to share the badness with my readers - that's when everything changed. That's when you appeared. That's when I got comments that said, "Oh my God...me, too." That's when I stopped being scared that my ugly was uglier than anyone else's, and decided to listen to what I knew: that public vulnerability and relentless transparency are my superpowers, and that I want to share those powers with anyone who wants some.
Because more and more, I'm seeing this simple fact prove itself again and again: truth leads to truth. I'll show you mine if you show me yours. It's harder to feel terrified by who we are when other people witness us, nod their heads in empathy and recognition, and show us that we're just like them.
I think it's damn difficult to become fully who we're meant to be without the support of people who see us for who we really are. We're under this illusion that in order to "make it", in order to be considered successful and worthy, that we need to have it all figured out, wrapped up nice in a pretty, shiny package.
It's simply not real.
Reality looks like figuring out how to be the kind of mother you always imagined you'd be. It looks like unvacuumed rugs and Chinese take-out and kids watching shows so you can read the thing that's going to get you through the afternoon.
Reality also looks like owning the hell out of our stories, but more importantly, it looks like taking charge of where those stories go. We can't, of course, always predict what will happen in our lives.
But how we respond?
That is completely in our hands.
And responding from a place of truth ultimately takes us to a place of love which automatically - over time and with conscious decision-making - moves us further and further from fear.
I created the Super Soul Glitter Movement because I want women to see themselves in each other. I want every single gal who's there to feel herself fill up with the power of the women surrounding her. Because that's what happens when intentional and driven women gather together - power is remembered, souls are re-ignited, and we do nothing less than remember who we really are:
WOMEN WHO CAN MAKE THEIR LIVES WHAT THEY WANT THEM TO BE.
And it all starts with the truth.
We need to heal ourselves so we can be the mothers our children need.