I am being called.
Something is opening and something else is coming in and I have no idea what it is.
I'm being tugged and pushed and prodded.
It's not any of those things.
I'm being cracked open. Someone's shining a flashlight in.
I don't know what God is.
Christians will tell anyone that they are loved by capital-H-Him. Bible verses are quoted to prove it.
But what is all of it?
Is it really anything more than love? Is it really an entity? Is it really this thing with rules and rights and wrongs?
Isn't the only right or wrong that matters: am I doing this with love or not?
Love cannot condemn.
Love cannot ignore.
Love cannot relentlessly center around self.
Love does (thank you, Bob Goff.)
Love ask and reaches out hands.
I am woefully, typically selfish. I feel generous when I put a dollar in someone's hat on the street. Sometimes I buy a coffee for the man sitting on the sidewalk.
These acts make me feel redeemed. They make me feel like I've done my piece. They make me feel like "Whew, I've done my good deed, now what was I doing (for myself) again?"
I'm missing the point completely.
The point isn't me and the point isn't you.
The point is us.
The point is we.
The point is only love and nothing else.
Maybe you call that God.
Maybe you call the Spirit.
Maybe you find your answers in the Bible and maybe you find them when you look up at the stars.
I don't know yet where I find my answers.
But I know I'm starting to ask the right questions.