I wonder if God is real.
I don't want you to tell me she's/he's/it's not.
Please let me discover the realms that lay beneath the visible.
Please let me, without chiding, see what I need to see.
I will not become delusional.
I will not become a preacher.
But I might just become more content. Less edgy. More translucent.
I might become more of the core of what I already am.
I might just walk around like that, all core.
I wonder how much of my thinking is based on what I think you think of me.
I wonder why that is.
I wonder why it's frightening to not know everything, to question it all, the huge and the tiny. Why we sometimes need to have our opinions set before the question's really been asked.
I wonder where I'll end up, at the end.
I wonder how I'll have spent these many days.
I wonder if I will have seen.
I wonder if I will have stopped and known: that God is probably sitting at the core, waiting to give a greeting.
I wonder if I will become light.
I wonder how to unpack it.
I wonder how it is.
Where you are.
I'm in here.