Around 5:00 yesterday evening, my friend sent me a text that said, "I'll be in town around 6:30 or 7:00. I need you to meet me for a drink and a hug." I knew that this really meant, "I need to say fuck a lot and talk about how much the world annoys me," and I was so, so game.
So I made the kids sandwiches for dinner, and had my coat on when my husband got home.
We sat down, pored over menus as efficiently as possible, and ordered drinks.
"Cherry cosmo, please."
"Lemonade in a martini glass, please."
Then we turned toward each other and she said, "So here's the thing," all casual and chatty, "fuck everybody," and I had never been more in love with this friend of mine.
Because here's the other thing: I had forgotten how cleansing the purge is.
I spend a whole lot of my life these days walking the line between trying to keep it real and trying to manifest things like miracles through positive focus and love.
I write things directly onto the walls of my house to help me remember. What's not written onto the walls of my home is the reminder, "It's okay to say a whole bunch of seemingly negative things sometimes, just to get them out of your body."
My friend and I, we swore like truckers, used our hands as we raved, and didn't need to preface anything we said with, "I know this is irrational" or "Don't judge me" because fucking obviously.
We were soul purging last night, getting all of the shit that had been stagnating for months out and into the air so it wasn't sitting in our bellies anymore.
I had completely forgotten how necessary this is.
I believe so much in the power we have to manifest the life we want through our daily actions - if you want a life that feels good, do good. If you want your brain to feel good, think good.
But then what are we supposed to do with all of the things that do, in fact, confuse us, piss us off, make us angry? Because I think it's incredibly toxic to the soul to live a pretend life, and so I don't want to pretend "I'm great!" when, in fact, I've got months of tiny triggers that have built to bursting.
The solution? A soul cleanse.
"Do I annoy people?"
"Why can't I talk about my births as openly as I want, just because they were beautiful?"
"Why are people telling me my dreams are unattainable?"
"Another cocktail, please."
"Why didn't that guy say bye to us?"
"Why is this shit so hard, and who gives a damn, anyways?"
And on and on for hours until the end, when we looked at each other and breathed in deep, all the way down.
"I feel better," I said. "Like, after all of that, I'm back to the beginning of the circle - we only need to worry about ourselves, just like the rest of the world needs to only worry about themselves. What a relief."
Which is the whole point of a night like last night.
You call in the tribe and you get right to it. You say things you'd be mortified for anyone else to hear because they don't line up with who you think you are. And then at the end, by some kind of magic, you can clearly see that you're still who you think you are, only better now because there's less shit all over you.
We need our tribe for the gorgeous, inspired moments, and we also need them for the purge. It's all real and it's all worthy.
Find your tribe, people.
And then get real.